Be the BIGGER One

When people disagree, it can quickly turn into an argument, escalate, heated, then people lose it, can’t think straight, get caught up in the moment, in their feelings, can’t rationalize and might sadly get into a rage. You know what I’m talking about because you’ve either experienced it, witnessed it or both. 

 It is worth being the BIGGER one

Here comes the million dollar question… In the heat of an argument/anger/rage, who will be the bigger one to shut up, walk away, let it go and stop the madness? Being the bigger one should not be looked at as a sign of weakness, meekness and fear. Rather it should be looked at as a sign of strength, wisdom, self-control/confidence, and taking control of your emotions and the situation.  

I know, it takes a whole lot of composure to shut up and not have the last word, walk away and not stand your ground, and let it go and not argue your point. This is when you need the help of the Holy Spirit because the flesh wants to do what it wants to do. But it is worth being the bigger one. Because I don’t know of anyone feeling great, like a winner, after an episode of anger or rage. Most times, we feel awful, upset, miserable, sad, regret and shame.

 Agree to disagree

Pick your battles! Not every disagreement should turn into an argument. Agree to disagree, be the bigger one, and move on! As I always say, it takes two to tangle so be the bigger one (shut up, walk away and let it go) and guess what? The tangling will be over.  

The times I’ve been the bigger one, it felt so good after. I felt like a winner. Yay! Because I didn’t allow the person, the situation or the devil to take control of my emotions and bring out ugly. I will confess that those were the times I listened to the Holy Spirit. But the times I didn’t listen, things got real ugly. Thank God I can count those times on one hand.

Be the BIGGER one 

Okay, so who should be the bigger one in time of conflict? Husband or wife, father/mother or son/daughter, between relatives, friends, siblings, co-workers, classmates, church members, etc. Who? I say anyone! Yes, anyone can step up and be the bigger one. But you really have to start conditioning your mind to be the bigger one. You have to tell yourself that it is okay to shut up and not have the last word, walk away and not stand your ground, and let it go and not prove your point. At the end of the day, what matters most is your peace.

Pray to God about this so that when you are in a conflict and the Holy Spirit tells you to back down, you listen. And yes, there are times you have to stand up and not back down but not all the times. So again, be the bigger one for peace sake. And remember, pick your battles and it takes two to tangle. 

Bible Reflection 

“A gentle answer deflects anger; but harsh words make tempers flare.” Proverbs 15:1 NLT

“A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them.” Proverbs 15:18 NLT

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold back.” Proverbs 29:11 NLT

“Control your temper, for anger labels a fool.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 NLT 

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” James 1:19 NLT

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