Looking out the window…

Yes, you’ve been looking out the window for some time, and it may be time to look in the mirror and look inside your home.

Sunday, May 18, 2021 I was watching Pastor James Merritt’s message titled “You Be the Judge.” Let me tell you , I’ve heard a few sermons about Matthew 7:1 (NLT) “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged” but none like this one. This message was God sent, on the right time, and very enlightening to me. This is the best sermon I’ve heard on this topic. I encourage you to watch it. Dr. Merritt said that there is a right time, right place and right spirit for judging: “it is not wrong to call “wrong” when God calls it “wrong.”

As part of his message he said that before looking out the window, look in the mirror. God immediately told me to write about this and gave me a different spin. And that’s what this message is about, “you’ve been looking out the window for some time, and it may be time to look in the mirror and look inside your home.”

Let’s talk…

Why people look out the window?

People look out the window for many reasons: escape/distraction from their reality, what’s going on in them and around them, looking for things to gossip about, compare with others (never a good idea), judge (without knowing all the facts), find faults, criticize, keep up with the Joneses, desire what others have, dream, hope for better, etc. Unfortunately sometimes this leads to other things, i.e., feel bad about yourself, low self-esteem/self-worth, depression, anxiety, undue pressure to keep up with the Joneses, focus on what you don’t have rather than what you have, etc. Don’t get me wrong, looking out the window is beneficial at times, but there are times you need to look in the mirror and look inside your home.

Look in the mirror

Sometimes it’s easier and might even feel good to look out the window and look at what people are doing and not doing, what’s wrong with them or what they’re doing wrong, point out their faults, criticize, judge, tell them what they should be doing or not doing, etc. rather than look in the mirror and tell yourself what’s wrong with you or what you’re doing wrong, point out your faults, criticize you and tell yourself what to do or not to do. The truth is, we don’t like hearing certain things, not even from ourselves, that’s why we avoid looking in the mirror but we have no problem looking out the window at others. Self-reflection is good but many don’t do it or not often enough.

And there are times we are so busy in other people’s business that we neglect our own business, and sometimes we purposely want to get wrapped-up in other people’s business so not to deal with our own business. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always good to help and take care of others but you also have to help yourself and take care of you.

Take this time to look in the mirror

So, take this time to look in the mirror and I mean, really look in the mirror and have a “real” talk with you. Have a heart to heart and be honest with yourself. And spend quality time with yourself and get to know you (the good, bad and ugly, your strengths, weaknesses, pet peeves, breaking points, likes, dislikes, passions, talents, skills, God-given gifts, etc.), and love you (this is very important-God expects you to love you), accept you (you’re not perfect-none of us are, so work with what you have because God created you), take the best care of you (mentally, physically and spiritually), and do your very best to learn, improve, develop, and grow, and always be your best and give your best no matter the circumstances.

Many of us are dealing with different challenges, i.e., health, loneliness, anger, depression, stress, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, addiction, abuse, weight, unhappiness, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, no self-worth, PTSD, etc. Talk to someone! It is always good to talk. Also, you may need to seek help from loved ones or professional help. I know mental health stigma is still there, though it is better, but please don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed, please, please seek help. You will feel so much better.

Strive to be the best version of you, with God’s help and help from others. Hey, you are special, awesome, unique and filled with greatness; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You deserve the best because God said so. God loves you! Always remember that you are precious and priceless to God.

Look inside your home

It’s easier to look out the window, into other people’s homes, wanting to know what’s going on in their home rather than to look inside your home and what’s going on in your home. Maybe this is a form of denial, a way to not deal with it or a way to cope with what’s going on in your home. Also, don’t compare and envy others lifestyle, marriage, children, jobs, achievements, etc. because you don’t know their true story, their struggles, how they got what they have (legally, illegally, truths, lies, ethically, unethically, etc.) and what’s really going on behind their closed doors because not everything that glitters is gold.

Now, let’s talk about what’s going on in your home? Is everything okay? Or is there any type of abuse (mental, emotional, or physical)? If there is, please seek professional help. Are there challenges: marriage, children, aging parents, financial, health, etc.? The good news is that there is help! But sometimes people are too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about what’s going on inside their home, to talk about their dysfunctional, unsafe and unhealthy family life and they put up a good front. It is extremely difficult to live under these conditions because it is so detrimental to your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Again, please seek professional help because help is there for you and your family. 

Deb’s final 2 cents…

Okay, so you’ve been looking out the window for some time, and it may be time to look in the mirror and look inside your home. Don’t get so caught-up in others lives and lose track of yours. If you’ve lost track of you, it’s time to get back on track and focus on you. Take the best care of you! Our home is our safe haven. A place where everybody living in that home should feel safe, comfortable, relax, tranquility, love, peace and joy. Where you know that everybody is looking out for each others’ best interest. Certainly their will be disagreements because we’re all different but love should be BIGGER than our disagreements and differences. And even in the privacy of our homes, we should treat each other with respect and dignity. Take care of you and your home! 

Give God thanks for you, who you are and what you have. Surely, there is nothing wrong with wanting better for you and yours; God wants the same for you and your loved ones. When you go-to God, He will help you and give you what you need so you can be the best you and live your best life here and now to be continued in heaven.

Another thing, don’t measure your success by others success because every success is personal and individual. In my opinion, success is based on our attitude, abilities, limitations, effort, access, opportunities, circumstances, availability, resources, timing and other factors that may or may not be in our control. Therefore, what may be a success to me may not be to you and vice versa; and that’s okay. We all have our successes. Thank you Lord in Jesus’ name!

So let us celebrate each others successes, big and small, and build-up each other, help each other and treat ourselves and others with love, respect and dignity.

Bible Reflection

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”” Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT

“Seek the Kingdown of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33 NLT

Photo credit: MorrArt

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