You look okay but everything is not okay

There are a few things that stuck with me from my Greater is Jesus in Me YouTube Channel interview with my girl Charlotte Van Horn (Chi) about her amazing TESTimony of hope, God turned Chi’s MESS into a MESSAGE (watch).

GiJiM Friends, grab your Bible to read the referenced verses.

Chi looked okay but she was not okay

One of the things that stuck with me is when Chi said, “I was really kind of over the top at that point with my drug usage but I was like one of those people who kept a nice house, kept a car, me and my baby was fly, I kept a job. I say that to say that just because somebody looks like everything is okay, sometimes you got to listen close -missing parts of their story- sometimes when they’re talking. To the human eye, my family didn’t even know where I was. My best friend at that point didn’t even know how far I had gone down.”

Everybody got something going on that others don’t know about

This is why friends, we should not compare or envy others because they look okay (attractive, nice clothes, expensive jewelry, big house, nice car, married, titles, etc.) because everybody, and I mean ALL of us got something(s) going on that others don’t know about. Hey, don’t trust what you see on social media… I’m just saying.

In Chi’s case, neither her family or best friend knew how bad things had gotten for her because she looked okay. But guess who knew that everything was not okay? God!

God knew everything was not okay with Chi

Though Chi had accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior a few years earlier, she still had a mess going on in her life. This is something new Christians and some old ones too need to understand, change is not immediate, it is gradual.

Anyway, God knew that everything was not okay with Chi. He wanted the best for her, so He used her best friend to get her out of New Jersey; yes, get her out of her mess. And when she got off the Amtrak train in Mississippi, God said to her, “This is where I want you to be, and everything is going to be okay.” This was her turning point, her new beginning. Won’t He do it!

Everything is not okay with me

I have stuff going on too. Before the pandemic my entire skin was under attack, that’s how I felt. I was feeling like Job. I talk about this in my book, women, the chapter titled “We’re All Dealing with Something or Somethings.”

My entire fifty odd years I never had any serious skin problems and now this. You bet I was worried. Then I remembered God’s Word: “Don’t worry about anything: instead pray about everything….” Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

So, I went to God and asked Him to heal me supernaturally or medically. My husband and my friends Kathy and Wilma were praying in agreement with me. God heard our prayers and sent me to the right Dermatologist (hey, if you’re not getting good results, move on to the next) and after trying numerous creams, I found my miracle cream, that’s what I call it. Because as soon as I feel the slightest itch or see any redness, I put it on and the itching and redness is gone. God is good all the time!

Here’s the thing… to the human eye I looked okay but I was not okay. You all didn’t know the painful discomfort I was going through, you didn’t  know that everything was not okay with me. This is just one example. I share more in women.

It is okay to not be okay

As Chi said, not because a person looks okay, it means that everything is okay. Most of us don’t go around telling everybody our “business.” We don’t go around talking about our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical illnesses and struggles or those of our loved ones; or about our pains, frustrations, sadness, disappointments, worries, anxieties, depression, PTSD, loneliness, addictions, grief, financial struggles, family challenges (discord and animosity between husband and wife, and between siblings, worrying about teenage kids and adult children, caring for aging parents, etc.), unemployment, work challenges, etc.

We’re only human and sometimes when bad things are happening in our lives we might ask God why me or when good things are happening in others’ lives we might ask God why not me? Please always remember that God’s love and mercy endures forever (Psalm 136 and Jeremiah 33:11). He knows and understands that as humans our emotions will take over at times.

Also CHRISTmas season is not a merry time for some. Though they look okay, they might not be okay. Because during this time many feel lonely, depressed, anxious, sad, helpless and hopeless. They can’t wait for the season to be over.

Here’s the truth… there is always something going on in our lives and/or our love ones’ lives. This is just part of living. So, it is okay to not be okay. Please know that you are not alone and you are not the only one. The awesome news is that there is help! Don’t give up!

The best ever news is that when we go to heaven we will be more than okay. Alleluia!

What should you do for someone who is not okay?

When someone is talking with you, listen attentively to what they’re saying and to what they’re not saying and read between the lines. Be there for that person with solutions, a new perspective, not criticism or judgment; give uplifting and encouraging words, not demeaning words; or simply listen. And though this may be difficult for some to do, please try to look at things from that person’s lens, not yours, put yourself in their shoes, then you will have a better understanding about how they feel and why they feel they way they feel (you may not agree but this is not about you, it’s about her/him). Then you will know how you can help. And sometimes you might need to encourage this person to seek professional help.

If you have a feeling that someone is not okay, reach out to them, visit if possible, give them a call, send a text, mail a card/note and be sensitive to them.

Pray in Jesus’ name with them and for them. Share God’s Word with them because there are Bible verses for every situation. This is how we show Jesus’ love to others (John 13:34:35).

What should you do when you are not okay?

When you are not okay, talk to someone. I’m a strong advocate about talking. Talk to someone you trust, i.e., family member, friend, pastor, etc. It really helps to talk! If needed, please seek professional help; these men and women are trained to give you the best possible treatment to help you.

The people around you may not know that you are not okay because you have not shared anything with them and you look okay, but guess what? God knows everything about you (Psalm 139:1) and He knows that you are not okay. Turn to God and turn it over to Him, in Jesus’ name.

God loves you (Ephesians 3:18-19). Jesus is with you always (Matthew 28:20). God only wants the best for you (Jeremiah 29:11) and He will help you be okay (Psalm 121).

It might take a little time. Again, it is okay to not be okay. Just don’t give up, be patient and watch God turn things around for your good. Yes, believe that you will be okay. Because He did it for Chi, has done it for me and He will surely do it for you. Trust God!!!

Say & Believe “Greater is Jesus in Me!

From Deb’s Red Heart to your Red Heart

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